i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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