her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
