woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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