I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were trust falling into bushes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
