I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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