Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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