yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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