Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
