i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
