There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
