I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
