I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
