4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
