I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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