his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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