I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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