We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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