So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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