Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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