Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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