I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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