im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
