her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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