You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
