You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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