I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
