vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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