Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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