I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
