the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize