i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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