I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
