He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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