we have officially lost it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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