I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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