Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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