It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
