Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
