Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
