Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm sobbing to NWA
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
