Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if only i could text you this smell
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
