are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize