I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize