Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
