Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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