I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
