69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
