I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
