3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
