glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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