She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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