Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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