His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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