He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
