absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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