its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
