It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
